Written by howy
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Topics: Lesbian

Saturday, 7 November 2009

image for Nelly Furtado flew away like a bird

A deranged college student and voracious man-hungry lipstick lesbian, that was caught singing the song "I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away", is being sought by the Milford Michigan police department for the disappearance of two unnamed individuals.

In a college newspaper interview, Furtado claims she is a desperate fag. In an incriminating statement she says, "I'm reading a book about Chinese medicine which claims I'm inherently attracted to gullible females and I need to balance out my energy by hunting some down."

John Fielder, a Michigan police officer who works for the S.W.A.T. team said in a news briefing that Furtado is wanted for questioning in the disappearance of two individuals whose names are not being released.

Fielder says the two unnamed persons were standing outside a woman's health care clinic when Furtado approached them. Amy Anderson, a witness who saw the entire incident said she observed Furtado dressed in a nurse's uniform offering both individuals some lollypops she had pulled out of her uniform. Furtado left with the two individuals in her car.

Furtado's mother says, "When Nelly and her sister were small they were good kids.' 'I don't know how she grew up to become such a heinous monster.'"

Nelly Furtado's next door neighbor Mary O'Donnell said Furtado lived alone. O'Donnell says she once witnessed Furtado entering her home one evening wearing a wedding dress and her face had make-up smeared on it. "She is really creepy and weird, said O'Donnell.

Federal authorities are on a nation wide man-hunt for Furtado.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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