Written by Gail Farrelly
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Friday, 23 October 2009

image for Obama's Enemies List:  Former President Nixon's Advice
An expert on enemies. . .

When Obama railed against Fox News, former President Nixon felt obliged to return from the dead to give the current president some advice about creating an enemies list. Nixon, after all, was an expert at that.

A Spoof reporter saw Nixon, holding his dog Checkers, at the Wash., D. C., train station as they headed for the White House, and was able to get the early scoop on the former president's advice. Nixon pointed out that you have to be selective. "Take, for example," he remarked, "what President Lyndon B. Johnson once said about FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover: 'It's probably better to have him inside the tent peeing out, than outside the tent peeing in.'"

President Kennedy, according to Nixon, was a bit more conciliatory, but very, very careful, once advising," 'Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.'" Again, the need for a list is paramount, Nixon indicated.

Everyone bears watching, according to Nixon. He quoted R. Bulwer-Lytton as saying, "It is difficult to say who do you the most mischief: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best."

After these few tidbits of wisdom, Nixon looked at his watch and begged off, saying he had to get to his appointment at the White House. "Wouldn't want to make an enemy of the current commander-in-chief," he chuckled.

The Spoof reporter offered to help Nixon with the huge wheelbarrow he was pushing. It was overflowing with papers. But Nixon refused the help. "It's my enemies list," he confided. "I never leave home without it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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