Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 5 October 2009

image for Todd Palin Quits His Oil Job - Plans To Run For Governor of Alaska
Todd Palin on his way to check the mailbox in his front yard.

WASILLA, Alaska - The former 'first dude' of the frozen state of Alaska Todd Palin has just announced that he is resigning his job as oil truck driver for the Dark Black Oil Company of Anchorage.

Palin, who was making $14.21 an hour also helped out by tuning up and washing the company's fleet of 51 snowmobiles, snowplows, and snowsleds.

He said that now since Sarah and the kids have moved down to Texas after buying former President George W. Bush's ranch he wants to spend more time doing the things he loves to do like racing his snowmobiles, going salmon fishing, and shooting caribou and moose.

Todd also expressed a desire to do something that he has always been wanting to do and that is to get into politics. He confided that the real reason that Sarah resigned her position of governor of Alaska is so that Todd can fulfil his lifelong dream of running for and becoming the governor of the nation's largest state Alaska.

Recent independent political polls show that if Todd Palin were to run for governor today, he would receive over 65 percent of the vote. Palin says that he would be running on the Democratic ticket, which he said caused quite an argument with his wife.

Todd says that he has already gotten pledges of campaign donations from three groups. The Alaskan Oilfield Baron's Syndicate has pledged to donate $100,000, The Alaskan Association For The Advancement of Eskimo-Americans has said they will donate $50,000 to the cause.

The third campaign pledge comes from The Upper Alaskan Salmon Fishing Guide Agency which just happens to be owned by Todd's salmon fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka.

Miss Zapalicka has agreed to donate $1.2 million to his gubernatorial campaign.

Zapalicka has been rumored to be somewhat intimately involved with Todd but he is quick to point out that his relationship with Nani is strictly on a professional level.

He then remarks that the 27-year-old Miss Zapalicka is one of the most beautiful Eskimo-American women he has ever seen. He smiles as he adds "And that includes Fairbanks pole dancers Lalali Kimoni and Sulini Punook."

SIDENOTE: Alaska's largest publication Igloo World Magazine recently interviewed salmon fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka and she was asked to describe her relationship with Todd Palin. Miss Zapalicka said that one, she is his salmon fishing guide. Two, she is his soul mate. And three, she is his BFF.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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