Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Texas, Prison

Saturday, 26 September 2009

image for Jailed Texas Billionaire Involved In Prison Altercation
Texas billionaire R. Alfred Stanboro's prison cell is the eighth one from the right.

Longhorn Nuts, Texas - Jailed Texas billionaire R. Alfred Stanboro, ex-CEO of the now-defunct Blue Bluebonnets Financial Investment Group, was involved in a prison altercation.

Stanboro is in prison for swindling $7 billion from investors.

According to Prison Warden Spencer Dibdab of The Greater Longhorn Nuts Prison Facility, Stanboro is being treated for various cuts, scrapes, scratches, and basic prison bumps and bruises at Nolan Ryan Hospital

Prison guard Riley "Bubba" Rainbrush said that 5 foot 8 inch Stanboro (Inmate #8987035) was involved in a fight with 6 foot 10 inch Lydell Willie Jefferson (Inmate #8930271).

The two convicts were in the TV rec room watching an episode of Cops when they began a friendly discussion.

Stanboro told Jefferson that President Obama needed to dole out more stimulus packages to the financial investment institutions so that they would not have to resort to acts of swindling in order to make a profit.

Stanboro told Jefferson that the stimulus packages have had some much-needed positive far-reaching effects on the economical stability of lending institutions and financial groups that have previously been mired in a state of monetary instability.

Inmate Jefferson looked at him with a puzzled look and asked him if he was making fun of the fact that he had dropped out of the first grade.

Stanboro, who is noted for his arrogance and sarcasm, replied that it was simply his opinion but he really and truly felt that yes he (Jefferson) was somewhat of a dumb, stupid, ignorant, hayseed.

Jefferson jumped up and he got in Stanboro's face and told him that he was not a hayseed because he had grown up in one of Houston's nicest ghettos.

Stanboro told him that he had never in his life heard of a nice ghetto. With that Jefferson stood up and started hitting Stanboro with a license plate that he had been working on earlier.

Prison guards separated the two after Jefferson had turned Stanboro in a human white pinata.

SIDENOTE: One would think that a man with Stanboro's billions would have said the second he set foot in the prison that he would pay the baddest, roughest, meanest four or five convicts in the entire prison $100 a week to be his bodyguards. Prisoners in the Texas Department of Corrections Prison System earn 15 cents a day.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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