Written by Vondrook
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Topics: Marriage, Mormon

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Bryce Young, 46, of Salt Lake City, Utah, brought home his eighth wife on Sunday, much to the chagrin of his other 7 wives.

"It didn't look good right from the start," said Bryce, who has acummulated 8 wives in a span of only 6 years, and have given Bryce a total of 11 children so far, with more on the way. "But this is how it always goes when I bring home a new wife."

It's true. 3 months after first marrying Brenda back in 2003, Bryce came home one day with a new wife, named Catherine. Brenda was jealous of her new matrimonial rival, but they soon got along after Bryce brought back wife number 3, Kirsty, 6 months after marrying Catherine. Kirsty was hated by both Brenda and Catherine until Bryce married Brenda II in 2005, but Brenda II was welcomed into the loving arms of the other wives when Bryce married Christine in Decemeber of that same year. Christine was shunned by the other 4 wives for 5 long months until Chelsea moved into the home with a ring on her finger. Everybody hated Chelsea, that is, until Beatrice showed up at the door married and pregnant with Bryce's 9th baby. And now it seems Billy-Jean, wife number 8 of the Young family, will face the same treatment as the other previous wives.

"This is how it goes with them," Bryce recalls, "They keep getting frustrated and try to convince me that I have had enough wives, but pshaw, Brenda number one has been saying that since my second wife, ummmm...Catherine!"

It may seem as though Bryce has bitten off more than he can chew, but has remained steadfast and calm despite all of the animosity and frustration flooding the house. "It's really very simple, and it's something I have to remind the girls every time I bring home a wife: It's God's will. Simple as that. Sometimes they forget that my amount of wives is dictated by God, so I have to sit them all around my rocking chair and read them my favorite passage from the Bible, where my actions of polygamy are justified." He laughed. "That page has been read quite a bit, I might have to get a new Bible."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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