Obama Says Fart Regulations Must Be Strengthened Globally

President Barack Obama said tougher fart regulations are needed worldwide to protect consumers, provide economic stability and prevent future crises.

With the leaders from the Group of 20 nations set to meet next week in Pittsburgh, Obama said, in his weekly address on the radio and Internet, that international cooperation has "stopped our methane freefall."

"We know we still have a lot to do, in conjunction with nations around the world, to strengthen the rules governing farts and ensure that we never again find ourselves in the precarious situation we found ourselves in just one year ago," Obama said.

The administration has proposed an overhaul of U.S. fart regulations including oversight of the systemic risk large fart institutions pose to the atmosphere, new ways for the government to dismantle failed farts and a regulator to oversee fart producers for pants fillers.

Also, the enviro-MENTAL-ists will be happy that everyone with a little more money than them will be taxed and regulated even more for the gas that accidentally comes out of their behinds.