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Tuesday, 15 September 2009

image for Ghost Still Haunting Goldberg
Patrick Swayze's new look

NEW YORK CITY, NY, USA An angry Whoopi Goldberg filed a police report early this evening requesting to file charges of stalking, harassment, malicious mischief and assault by a persons or persons unknown.

Goldberg was unable to give a description of her assailants; she complained of frequent and repeated attacks comprised mainly of her hat being knocked off, being pushed from behind, being tripped, having her hair pulled, and an odd sensation of tugging at her limbs. Coincidentally, Goldberg has been experiencing a ringing in her ears that oddly sounds like a scratchy, broken record repeating the single word "ditto" over and over, for hours on end.

Goldberg abruptly withdrew her complaint of learning that her one time costar, Patrick Swayze, had given up the "Ghost."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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