Written by Jalapenoman
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Friday, 28 August 2009

image for Ted Kennedy Died Because Death Squad Denied Him Medical Coverage
R.I.P. and B.Y.O.B.

Senator Ted Kennedy was one of the first people to be covered under Barack Obama's new Health Care Plan. His death was actually a result of his not being approved to received medical treatment after being turned down by a "death squad."

Head of that Boston group, Dr. Lance Kopechne (no relation to Mary Jo), revealed the reasons why Edward Morse Kennedy was denied medical care.

"Well, first, he was an old fart. He was 77. That's, like, almost 90. He lived long enough."

"Second, did you see how big he was? At least three people were being denied calories, and at least ten were being denied alcohol, just by this man alone."

"Third, Well, it's just in the rules of the new Obama Health Care Plan."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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