Written by Jalapenoman
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Tuesday, 25 August 2009

image for True Purpose of "Cash for Clunkers" Finally Revealed
This couple gets an '87 Ford Taurus

The true purpose behind the government's "Cash for Clunkers" program has finally been revealed in the latest press release from the Obama Administration. In the program, auto companies paid up to $4500 trade-in for clunkers that had no real value (the money was refunded to them by Washington). These cars were to be turned over to the government and were not to be resold.

As the program ended on Monday, August 24th, the reasons for the purchase of so many cars can now come out.

Beginning September first, homeless persons of less than 5'6" tall will be issued compacts and sub-compacts for their "Government subsidized housing." Persons over 5'6" pick up trucks (without extended cabs). Couples will receive mid-sized cars. Mini-vans and full sized conversion vans will be issued to families, depending upon the number of children.

Cars will be placed together in old drive-in theatres and parking lots of closed business to form "neighborhoods." Schools for the children in these neighborhoods will be held in retired school buses and RVs.

Your government in action for your welfare!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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