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Friday, 21 August 2009

image for Amish Hacker Erases Town Records
Volumes of information erased by hackers

Lancaster, PA - Proving that even those that avoid technology can't avoid the inevitability of its influence, one of America's oldest Amish communities is suffering today, from one of the newest types of crime.

Caught in the crosshairs of an unknown hacker, the pious residents of Lancaster, PA, are feeling violated and exposed after an finding many of the county data files broken into and erased Thursday night. With no witnesses to the sabotage, the only leads for area police are the several pounds of pink eraser dust scattered around the office, and the crowbar left atop of the damaged filing cabinet.

"We suspect that it may have been some local teens from right here in Lancaster," County Sheriff, Earl Hunter, confessed to curious press and citizens. "It has all the earmarks of an inside job, given the somewhat dated methodology of the attack, and the fact we found no unusual carriage tracks near the scene," the rotund legal official concluded.

In a similar attack in 2006, a group of Amish teens hacked the Lancaster Treasury Department and stuffed chewing gum in between all the beads of the official county abacus. However, officers quickly solved that case by indentifying the rare pine tar gum used in the crime, and tracking it back to tree nursery workers, Brothers Matthew and Jacob.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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