Written by Frankie The J
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Tuesday, 18 August 2009

image for Police cite 12 for indecent exposure in St. Paul parks
The Undercover Chief Inspector of the Pecker Checkers for the St. Paul Police Department

ST PAUL, MN (TS.com) - Gee whiz, gay guys can't catch a break in St. Paul, Minnesota! First, a well known, and nominally well respected, politician gets his ass busted for "taking a wide stance," and propositioning an undercover cop for homosexual sex, while inside a lavatory stall in the Twin Cities Airport; and just this past Thursday, 12 men got busted in two different St. Paul city parks for propositioning undercover cops for gay sex while uncovering their peckers.

"I guess you could call it the undercover capture of pecker uncoverer's caper," the chief, and unidentified (what else?), undercover officer jokingly told TheSpoof.com's very own 'Dear Abby,' Ms. Ally Chamone.

"So then, does that make you the Chief Inspector of the Pecker Checkers?" asked Ms. Chamone.

"Uh, when you hear it put that way, it isn't really funny, is it."

A spokesman for the St. Paul Police Department, Sgt. Paul Schnell told TheSpoof.com that the department "had received numerous complaints from park goers about having encountered men having sex in the parks around noon-or worse, children handling used, and potentially dangerous condoms, found within the parks."

City officials said that Minneapolis is no less gay friendly than any other Midwest city. Thursday's arrests at Crosby Farms and Meeker parks were meant to "discourage public, lunchtime sex," said Sgt. Schnell.

"What consenting adults do in their private locations is up to them, but when it is done in public areas and is impacting others lives and could be causing health and wellness problems, it is an issue we need to address," he said.

"Thank you, Sgt. By the way, is there any chance you would like to see my penis? The beautiful Ally Chamone asked the police officer.

Sunday evening, Mark Lowton, CEO and Executive Editor of TheSpoof.com wired money for the reporter's bail following her/its arrest for uttering "an indecent proposal to a heterosexual police officer." She will be released into the custody of her/its life partner, Duncan Whitehead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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