Written by smurfette
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Topics: Michael Jackson

Sunday, 26 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Nose Spotted!
Jackson's original nose

LOS ANGELES, CA, USA Reports that the original nose of the late King of Pop has been located are now confirmed by the National Registry of Historic Places and Snot.

Dr. Arnold Klein, world-renowned Jackson butcher and sperm donor, is reported to have sold the original nose on the black market when he shaved it off in the early 80's. At the time, he simply viewed it,along with Jackson's still-missing penis, as an totally worthless appendage that he was fortunate to be rid of at any cost.

Rastus Brown lost his nose when it was bitten off in a prison riot and believed he was buying an ordinary replacement nose when he first purchased it.

Klein believes Brown got a better deal than Jackson since Brown has never required a subsequent transplant whereas Jackson required frequent surgeries.

Brown had enjoyed the quiet use of Jackson's nose for nearly a quarter of a century since his transplant and was totally unaware of its famous connection until the passing of Michael Jackson last month.

Since that time, Brown's domestic partner, Cletus T. Jones, has been awakened several times each night by Jackson's nose whistling out hits by the deceased pop star such as "Beat It" and "Bad". Jones is said to be particularly annoyed when the nose whistles out "Thriller" as it causes him to have horrific nightmares of werewolves and other ghouls.

As word of the nightly nose concerts has spread, a huge following for the nose has developed. Brown is reportedly facing eviction from his housing project apartment due to the large crowds that assemble nightly. The city of Los Angeles is said to be considering legal action to recoup the huge amount of overtime paid to police officers to maintain order.

DNA results have confirmed that the nose indeed previously belonged to Jackson.

Brown is said to be in negotiations with AEG to fulfill Jackson's contractual obligations to the "This Is It" tour.

Katherine Jackson has filed for custody of Brown's nose and is demanding to be included in the negotiations and a share of the nose's profits.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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