Written by Wire Piddle
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Sunday, 19 July 2009

image for Mystery Goo May Have Originated In Sarah Palin's Bathtub
Mystery Goo Creates Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

Anchorage, AK - A giant mass of goo has formed in the waters off of Anchorage and is now moving through the Chukchi Sea in Alaska. It is believed that the goo may have originated from the town of Wasilla, Alaska, a result of a hair rinse experiment gone wrong at the home of former governor Sarah Palin.

Although public works officials deny the theory that Ms. Palin may have been trying to clean her extensive collection of wigs, some of them owned by her closet cross-dressing husband, the hair rinsing episode and her recent resignation as governor seem to coincide.

Said local gossip columnist and flaming homosexual Perez Holiday Inn, "...it seems odd that the governor would retire just at the moment that her husband was to be exposed as a championship winning snowmobiling crossdresser. What may be good for Todd Palin may not always be good for the honorable sport of snowmobiling, nor the governor."

Still others believe the goo may have originated from the drain of neighbor and notable weather personality Lance Rickert, who also shares a penchant for cleaning hair pieces but whose crossdressing activities are already common knowledge within the community.

Said Ms. Palin, "...Listen, we've tried several times to get an injunction against that flaming drag queen of a weatherman to prevent his hair rinsing activities. We warned everyone that this day would come to pass and it has."

"Now the only thing we can do about this 'mystery goo' is to try to turn it into a some kind of tourist attraction. I've been told that there are several groups of crossdressers in San Francisco that want to turn it into a sort of shrine. I'm here to say that it is not for us as citizens of the 'Great State of Alaska to stop them."

For their part, a coalition of crossdressers in San Francisco is willing to fund an annual cruise to the mystery goo, informally being called 'Lucille Ball' after their most favorite actress who ever lived.

Senator John McCain was quick to respond to the crisis. "You see? She's sorted the whole mess out by generating a new and unique revenue source for her constituents. What more could you ask for? I say Sarah Palin for President, 2012.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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