Vancouver, BC - Officials from both Russia and Canada are meeting in Vancouver to try to figure out a way of preventing that silly little person, Sarah Palin, from ever getting out of Alaska again.
It is not clear if they are working on the advice of the U.S. State Department or they thought this little trick up by themselves. Some believe it may have been motivated by a secret CIA briefing that, among other things, states that, although Sarah Palin is not considered a security risk, she's distracting, annoying, and could create a profoundly damaging effect on the GDP.
"If people like Sarah Palin are allowed to walk around voicing their opinions, it's bound to affect the morale of the average worker and undermine trade relations with other countries - trade relations that have taken years to build."
So far the CIA have failed to undertake successful plots against the former Governor, one of which consisted of luring her out to a passing iceberg and floating her away.
Also known as the 'Iceberg Scandal', the CIA had hoped that, had the plan been successful, Sarah Palin would have been adrift for the better part of the next 20 years, with her having to subsist on whatever fish she could catch and any rainwater she could contain on a roughly 15' x 15' chunk of ice.
Of the plot, Sarah Palin stated, "...It was pretty obvious it wasn't a real iceberg..(snort..snort). I've seen more convincing icebergs at the backlot of Universal Studios."
Still, the CIA is hoping that the Russians and Canadians can come to some agreement as to how they can free her movements by enacting strict border controls. Both countries have promised to step up border crossing checks, but Sarah Palin is seen as a bit of a slippery eel.
"You can have all the controls at border crossings you want," said one Canadian Customs official, "...but very little can be done if the lady decides to cruise down the Strait of Georgia in a kayak in the dead of night."
"We've had boats out there, firing howitzers at suspicious kayakers and out of fifteen we've hit, well, you've probably already guessed that none of them have been Sarah Palin. What makes matters worse is now we've created a problem of these mysterious feet washing up on shore. It's a public relations nightmare."