Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 28 June 2009

image for Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 To Appear Nude in PlayMister
Kate Gosselin shown relaxing in her kitchen after Jon asked her for a divorce (photo courtesy of Adam Lambert).

PHILADELPHIA - Kate Gosselin, of the TLC reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 has just stated that she will be appearing in a nude photo layout in the next issue of PlayMister Magazine.

The 34-year-old statuesque MILF told her best friend from high school Kitty Mizzenmast that now that Jon has filed for divorce she needs to do something in order to get back her womanly self-esteem and feminine self-pride.

Kate told Kitty that she wants to show America exactly what Jon is going to be missing. She says that she is not the least bit shy about showing off her sensuous body.

She stated that she does not have any tattoos of Chinese characters, or any bodily piercings other than a little bitty one on her labia majora (flip flaps).

Kate confessed that she got that piercing four years ago when her and Jon went down to Tijuana, Mexico to celebrate her 30th birthday.

She said that they really had a great time and she especially liked attending her first bullfight. She laughed and said that Jon did get upset with her because she actually placed a bet on the bull.

Kate stated that Jon finally settled down when she bought him a serape in the colors of the South Korean flag. She also mentioned that Jon had bought her a set of genuine maracas.

She mentioned that when they got back to their hotel that Jon made her a Pineapple Margarita and then he spent an hour playing with her maracas.

Kate revealed that she finally got tired, she got out of the bed, and went and took the maracas out of the bag and handed them to Jon and told him to play with these maracas for a change.

Kate says that she is devastated at the fact that she is only 34, and she is getting a divorce. She did say that she has already received about 1,840 marriage proposals from men from all walks of life.

She said some include CIA operatives, bankers, NBA basketball players, 7 U.S. senators, 40 lawyers, 3 actors, and a certain unnamed governor of a southern state with the initials S.C.

Kate says that her kids are her main priority. But she adds with a devilish smile that she does have a secondary priority.

She blushes, and says that her goal will be to change American Idol runnerup Adam Lambert's sexual orientation.

In other breaking news. Paris Hilton is reportedly very upset because she has broken one of her fingernails.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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