Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 23 June 2009

image for It's Official - Jon and Kate Deflate and Head To Splitsville
A spin-off of The Jon and Kate Plus 8 reality show in Nairobi, Kenya.

WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - After weeks of speculation, intimation, insinuation, and innuendo, the Gosselin's, Jon and Kate of the TV reality show "Jon and Kate Plus 8" have announced that they are divorcing.

Jon said that he just got tired as hell of Kate's bossiness. He said that at times he felt like the show's name should have been Jon and Kate Plus Nine the way that the "B" word blonde treated him.

He said that Kate took the cake when she told him that she would be lowering his weekly allowance from $5 to $3. Jon who is a smoker said that $3 would only buy him nine cigarettes.

Jon said that Kate could go out and buy herself all kinds of things like blouses, dresses, sofas, washing machines, crotchless panties, and a gallon of Papaya Margarita Mix but that he couldn't even buy a single serving bag of M&M's.

On the other side of the coin Kate said that she was tired of Jon and the kids talking Korean in front of her. She said that the only Korean word she knew was Hyundai, which in English is Hyundai.

Kate also said that one time Jon got so mad at her that he threatened to remove her tonsils with a pair of used chopsticks.

The statuesque blonde said that the final straw was when she noticed that he had gotten three different tattoos with the names Ashley, Brenda, and Starquisha on his lower back.

Producers of the show say that they will continue filming but are considering changing the shows name to Jon and Kate Plus 8 - Welcome To Splitsville.

In a related story. Kate says that there is no truth to the rumors has she has been secretly dating Adam Lambert, Joaquin Phoenix, Chris Brown, or Meghan McCain.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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