Written by FromTheBunker
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Tuesday, 9 June 2009

image for Walking Bad For Mental Health
Leaders Discuss Report

The worlds leading Psychologists today released a report stating that walking may be bad for your mental health. This shocking 600 page document is based on recent interviews given by former Astronaut Edgar Mitchell. Mitchell was part of the 1971 Apollo 14 crew that landed on the Moon. He along with team member Alan Shepard spent 9 hours and 17 minutes frolicking on the Moons lifeless surface.

Dr Winston Petard vice chairman of the University of Atlantis department of Psychiatry said, "Walking for extended periods of time damages the human minds psychic ability to digest truth from fantasy. In Dr Mitchell's case, this has lead to grandiose statements about aliens and secret Moon bases."

Fitness groups have been critical of the report. Noted exercise guru and actress Jane Fonda claims the report is bogus. Fonda, who starred in the 1968 Sci-Fi movie Barbarella, said that, "Walking, especially at my age, is about all I can do. People may think I have been to the Moon but that's just another fiction."

At a peer review seminar at the University of Colorado at Boulder, Psychologist Dr. Simon Astorfloyd commented on the report, "This is some far out stuff man, I mean, whoa, aliens and like, little green men, this guy was an Astronaut and everything. I'm gonna quit walking and spend more time watching the X-Files."

Mitchell's former employer NASA refused to comment on the report. They directed any questions to their outpost "Pink Floyd" based on the dark side of the moon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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