Written by Seamus Nottrew
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Topics: Barack Obama

Monday, 11 May 2009

President Obama last night emerged from the White House after 100 days, thus beating the previous record set by American magician, David Blaine, although unlike Blaine, he achieved the feat without the use of a straight jacket.

"There were times when I came close to needing one but I'll save restraints for the bedroom" Obama told us, before rounding off the stunt with a dive into a deep recession, while playing 'Hail To The Chief' on a nose flute, and juggling the nation's deficit.

While he was inside the White House he was under public and press scrutiny the whole time. Observers say they could see no obvious chicanery, or clever tricks with smoke and mirrors, so often associated with White House stunts.

Obama's success was down to very careful planning and preparation. Before attempting the stunt he spent months immersed in an election campaign, being scrutinised, interrogated, photographed, glad-handed and insulted to build up the stamina levels required.

After being checked over by medical staff, Obama said he felt fine and was suffering no after effects. "You know what?" he quipped, "I reckon I could spend another four years in there."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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