The jury of judges, headlining Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld, United States Army Chief of Staff General Schoomaker and Secretary of State Colin Powell, opened the highly prestigious US Terrorism Awards 2004 ceremony at a packed and excited Pentagon yesterday evening.
"Ladies, Gentlemen, Terrorists.." began Rumsfeld, as members of the CIA and FBI found their way to their seats in front of the statesman. "It is with great pleasure, and without unnecessary delay that I announce to you all the overall winner of the US Terrorist Award 2004, a gentleman and master, who has been unwavering in the art of lies and deception, who falsely accused Iraq of possessing WMD, and who unfortunately tonight cannot be here to join us in this celebration of his continued enforcements of that falsehood - US President George Walker Bush!! Accepting the award on his behalf is disgraced Enron chief Ken Lay - who has been his life long supporter and a generous contributor during elections. Thank you Ken."
After a brief intermission by Janet Jackson, Rumsfeld felt slightly embarrassed as he was surprised on stage by Powell who awarded him the Sale of Weapons Award for his work with Pakistan. "Double standards people, double standards" he said as he broke into tears during his award acceptance speech.
There were no surprises in the Regional Torture category. The award was given to US Military Forces holding detainess at Guantanamo Bay - they were to recieve a surprise later when they managed to pick up a second award in the Breach of the Geneva Conventions category.
Thursday, 1 July 2004
"Ladies, Gentlemen, Terrorists.."
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