Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Bird Flu, flu, swan

Wednesday, 29 April 2009

image for Swan Flu Hits Zoo
Four swan eggs that belong to Peaches, who zoo workers say is the most promiscuous swan in the entire San Diego Zoo.

SAN DIEGO, California - Zoo officials have just announced that when zoo workers were feeding the zoo's swan population this morning they happened to notice that a lot of the swans were acting strange.

It seems that the swans were sitting in the center of their swan enclosure, holding wings and chanting.

One of the zoo workers, who did not want his name mentioned, says that he is afraid that the swans have contacted the swan flu.

Zoo Director Paul Pribblepuff said that in his 30 years as the zoo's director he had only seen such a scene once and that was back in October of 1988, when the zoo's adult kangaroo population suddenly and inexplicably started reaching into each other's pockets for no particular reason.

Pribblepuff remarked that zoo worker Geronimo Appleyard, who is an expert on swans, said that about 17 of the zoo's 18 swans appeared to be making sounds that sounded either like a United States Polaris Submarine or Courtney Love choking on a large zucchini.

The Zoo Committee of Public Relations called an emergency meeting and they have stated that if the swans continue to act in this weird, unswanlike manner that the zoo will be forced to sell the entire swan population to The Senora Sanchita Cantina & Grill in Rumorosa.

Mrs. Sanchita Sanchez, who has owned The Senora Sanchita Cantina & Grill since 1955 says that her restaurant is the only one west of the Mississippi River which specializes in swan meals such as Swan Earlobe Enchiladas, Sweet and Sour Swan, Swan Tonsil Tacos, Swan Kabob, and Swan Ovaries Smothered in Frijole Soup.

In other news. Rush Limbaugh angry at the Senator Arlen Specter defection from the Republican Party to the Democratic Party says that Specter, John McCain, and his daughter Meghan McCain can all move south to Guadalajara, Mexico for all he cares.

Meghan, who was appearing on the Fox Network's, "The O'Reilly Factor" and is not the least bit shy responded to Limbaugh's caustic remark by pointing to her Yum-Yum and saying, "Hey Limpy boy, I got your Guadalajara right here."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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