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Topics: swine flu

Monday, 27 April 2009

image for Schwinn Flu Outbreak In US!
Schwinn Flu Apparently Began In Mexico

President Barack Obama tinkled his bell and blew his horn Monday, stating that the threat of spreading Schwinn Flu infections was a concern but "not a cause for alarm," while customs agents began checking people coming into the United States by land and air, although no one has ridden in on the air as yet but remember those lawn chairs and helium balloons. The World Health Organization said there were 30 confirmed cases in the U.S. but no deaths.

However, one WHO official, Dr. Seuss Horton stated, "The victims are really getting tired pumping their legs into the air. We have had to tie them down in some cases."

Countries across the globe increased their vigilance amid increasing worries about a worldwide pedaldemic.

President Obama told a gathering of scientists that his administration's Department of Health and Human Services along with the Transportation Department "have DECLARED.... a public health emergency ...as a precautionary TOOL to ensure.... that we have the resources we need at our ....disposal to respond quickly and efficiently.....effectively. There's a spider on this prompter."

The acting head of the Center for Bicycle Disease Control and Prevention, Dr.Trek Marin, said that Americans should be prepared for the problem to become more severe, and that it could involve "possibly deaths."Especially if it spreads to motorcycles and those Hell's Angels blockheads."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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