Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Topics: octuplets, swine flu

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for As Swine Flu spreads, OctoMom still wants kids to have piggy for a pet?
"Excuse me children, I don't feel so good and you don't look so good either."

Los Angeles, California - Consistent in her denial that she does not regret her decision to exercise the selective reduction (abortion) option her pediatrician presented to her early in her pregnancy, OctoMom says she is still going ahead with her plans to have a pig for a family pet, despite the Swine Flu outbreak.

"I still think it's a good idea," said OctoMom as she prepares a pigpen in the backyard of her new home. "I mean about the pig. We're talking about the pig, right?"

OctoMom believes that having a pig as a family pet will teach her children the virtues of sharing, eating anything and everything they can find and rolling around in the mud.

"Oh I'm not worried about any of the kids contracting an often fatal pathogen like the swine flu," volunteered OctoMom, as she put the finishing touches on the pigpen by the mixing water and dirt to make a pool of mud and filth. "But what if they did? I'm sure their tiny little immune systems are strong enough to fight off any deadly upper repertory viral infection like that."

OctoMom said she had considered going with a bunny rabbit but quickly put that thought to bed.

"Don't get me wrong, rabbits make fine pets," said OctoMom. "But they're nasty little creatures, procreating all the time. I didn't want the kids to get any ideas, if you know what I mean."

OctoMom says she plans to name the family pet pig Helter-Skelter, ironically after her first pet, a bunny rabbit she had growing up as a kid herself.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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