Written by Dan Margherita
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

image for FCC URGED TO FINE VICE-PRESIDENT CHENEY FOR DECENCY VIOLATION
CHENEY BLASTS BACK

Washington (June 29) - Under intense public pressure including a personal appeal from shock jock Howard Stern, the Federal Communications Commission is considering fining Vice-President Dick Cheney $275,000 for using the f-word in a conversation with Senator Patrick Leahy during a photo session last week.

"I don't care what those a******s at the F f***ing CC try to pin me with," blasted back Cheney, when he heard about the possible fine. "If Leahy wants to make up a bunch of s*** about me, then the little p**** is going to have to suffer the f***ing consequences like a f***ing man," adding, "$275,000? We have that in the f***ing change machines in the Halliburton lunch room!"

"Oh my," responded Leahy. "Really? He said that? Heavens to Betsy, I think that this country deserves better from its elected officials although, come to think of it, I don't think he really was elected, was he?"

"I don't care what that a****** try to pin me with," blasted back Cheney. "If Leahy wants to make up a bunch of s*** about the election, then the little p**** is going to have to suffer the f***ing consequences like a f***ing man. Tell him I have some big f***ing chads for him right here that I'll be glad to stick up his a**"

FCC chairman Michael Powell, son of Secretary of State Colin Powell, justified the FCC's reluctance to fine Cheney. "I'm sure he's sorry for what he said. He isn't a bad man; in fact, my dad likes him a lot. They talk all the time… well, often, I think."

"I don't care what that a****** tries to make it sound like," blasted back Cheney. "If Powell wants to make up a bunch of s*** about how much his daddy likes me, then the little p**** is going to have to suffer the f***ing consequences like a f***ing man. His dad didn't even know I had declared war until he saw it on f***ing CNN!" "Sorry, my a**!" he muttered as he stormed out of the impromptu press conference.

President Bush, returning from the NATO summit in Turkey, tried to distance himself from the controversy, acknowledging that his vice-president can be "an ornery cuss" on occasion, adding, "But hey, how ‘bout that sovereignty thing the other day? Who's your daddy now?" he asked, to no one in particular.

"I don't care what that a****** tries to make it sound like," blasted back Cheney in a telephone interview from an undisclosed location. "If Bush wants to make up a bunch of s*** about how I'm really a nice guy, then the little p**** is going to have to suffer the f***ing consequences like a f***ing man." "He just better not try to push me off the f***ing ticket. THEN he'll see f***ing ornery, the little s***."

Chairman Powell promised a ruling by the FCC moments after the November election is over.

Make Dan Margherita's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 2?

3 7 4 6

Go to top