Written by Robert W. Armijo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Using "Spoof Card", Obama made call to Somali Pirates moments before fatal shots fired
Did Obama just pass his first test of leadership on the world stage? Or does Battle Ship Diplomacy make anyone look strong?

Somali, Africa - Just moments before the fatal shot was taken Navy Seal snipers using laser pointer guided gyroscope equipped rifles to compensate for the pitch, yawl and rolling motion of the pirate lifeboat and US Navy frigate, the pirates received what they thought was a phone call from their negotiator who was aboard the US frigate, calling in the latest ransom figures being offered for the release of their American hostage.

However, it was not their negotiator on the end of the cell phone calling them, it was none other than President Barack Obama, who was using a Spoof Card.

It is the use of a relatively inexpensive Spoof Card that allows you to mask your voice and caller id that is being credited for the successful rescue operation, despite he specialized training of the Navy Seal snipers, their sophisticated state-of-the-art equipment, and amazing good luck.

"We had them in our scopes at all times. However, its was President Obama's idea to use the Spoof Card, making a long distance phone call from the White House to the pirates on the lifeboat that did gave us the time we needed to align all three targets and take the shot," readily admits one of the Navy Seal snipers.

In the final moments, as witnessed from the crosshairs of the laser targeting scope sniper rifle, the Somali pirates did not know what hit them. As they received what they thought was a cell phone call from their comrade, who was in the mists of negotiating the ransom aboard the US Navy frigate for the release of their American captive, the call from President Obama came and soon after, the bullets that took their lives.

"They really thought they were getting a call from their fellow pirate, judging from the look on their faces. Believing they were finally getting the figures and safe passage they demanded, right up to the very last second," continued the Navy Seal sniper. "Only they were actually talking to President Obama."

From the White House, while his daughters were playing with their new puppy, "Bo" on the floor of the Oval Office, President Obama talked to the Somali pirates. Some say he even toyed with them before giving the command to take the fatal shot.

"Only the girls really know what he fully said to the Somali pirates in their last moments on earth because I just handed President Obama the cell phone and quickly left the room to retrieve a fax," said a White House aide, asking not to be identified.

The aide left the Oval Office momentarily to retrieve a fax for Obama from the next room, when he returned moments later he was privy to the end of the conversation.

"When I retuned with the fax in hand, I walked in on the tail end of the conversation," said the aide. "But I did hear him say: 'Do you know who you are really talking to, you SOB? That's right, the Angel of Death. Messing with my people was your last mistake. I am the walrus. I am the egg man. Koo, Koo, Kah-Choo."

"That was our signal to take the shot," said the Navy Seal. "And the rest is history."

Make Robert W. Armijo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 5?

8 4 5 21

Go to top