Written by Bureau
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 11 April 2009

image for Woman Loses Memory On The Mind Eraser, Sues Park
Heinson Takes Discombobolated Stare Into Distance

A Georgia woman who says she lost her memory on the Mind Eraser roller coaster a year ago is taking Seven Flags Amusement Park to court.

Cheryl Robin Heinson said the shoulder harness failed to hold her securely in place and she repeatedly struck her head during a ride on the Mind Eraser last summer.

"I remember thinking, my head hurts."

As a result, she said she suffered long- and short-term memory problems and had to quit her job as a sales associate at Bank Of America where she had worked for 19 years.

Six Flags stands firmly behind the safety of the Mind Eraser.

"The percentage of people that claim to have injured themselves is so small compared to the 3.5 million people who have ridden the ride and enjoyed it," said Elizabeth Goodman, Seven Flag's spokeswoman.

Fun-seekers line up for hours to ride the Mind Eraser, which loops them suspended in the air for a hair-raising 1 minute, 10 seconds. Heinson's lawsuit contends that Seven Flags's sacrificed safety for thrills and failed to warn customers of dangers they knew existed.

Heinson was one of 22 people injured on Seven Flags Mind Eraser in 2008 -- six of whom were taken by ambulance to area hospitals, according to their own injury reports. The same day that Heinson was injured, another person experienced head and back pain during the ride and was taken by ambulance to University Hospital, the report states.

David Anderson, Seven Flags's attorney, said the amusement park objects to use of those reports because there is no way of knowing for certain whether the customers were actually injured while on the Mind Eraser.

"They could have been injured before they got here," he stated.

Heinson, 45, said she hit her head repeatedly during the ride and believes she lost consciousness for a short time. She said she exited the ride feeling dazed, dizzy, doodle-headed, devastated, discombobolated and disoriented. The next day, she said one of her eyes became bloody and she experienced severe headaches, vision problems, nausea, stomach cramping, a toe fungus and vomiting.

By the second day, she began having memory problems and loss of balance -- conditions that only recently have begun to improve, said her attorney, Lester McKinley. She stopped driving when the memory lapses took place several times in traffic where she'd stop on Green and go on Red, and she had to leave her job in August because of memory problems and slurred speech, she said.

Anderson, the Seven Flags attorney says that if she lost her memory on the Mind Eraser, how can she be sure of exactly what happened?

Make Bureau's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 5?

7 25 14 16

Go to top ^