Written by Morse
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Monday, 6 April 2009

image for Feathers Fly In Florida  Court Over "Bollocks" The  Parrot Ownership Dispute!
193 Year Old Bollocks the Parrot Happy to Be Back Home at Bar with Morse!

Boca Raton,FL / Aviary News - A dispute over the ownership of a 193 year old Parrot has spilled into local courts and is now gathering national attention from bored Journalists.

The vociferous Parrot, whose age was verified by an Aviary Expert after DNA was taken from a stool sample, casts doubt on ownership claims by two bird brained Florida Flea Market Vendors, but gives credence to claims by a retired Spoof Writer who runs a small 4 stool beach bar on a remote South Carolina island, accessible only by boat.

The first woman in the custody case claims she bought the Parrot, which she named "Tequila" ,13 years ago from a Flea Market Vendor in Vero Beach, Fl.
Unfortunately for her, the bird flew the coup and had "gone missing" for over 3 years.

By a fluke, the 2nd woman, who found the bird entertaining in a gay Karaoke Bar in Key West, Fl, and bought it from a failed Elvis Impersonator, ran into the first owner at a Parrot Seminar and they discovered they were "mutual" owners of the same bird, now named "Lucky".

The first woman wanted "Tequila" back, but "Lucky's" owner refused on the grounds of "fuck you I found him", better known in the colonies as "finders,keepers."

But speaking of Lucky, the resulting publicity and photos of the Green Parrot eventually got back to South Carolina due to the internet, and the anonymous Spoof Writer immediately recognized it as "Bollocks" the famous internationally known Parrot passed down by several generations of Pirates in the cruising, banking, medical, and barrister professions.

"Bollocks" was last seen in the bar on April 1, 1993 during a Spoof Reunion party, where the author said "things got pretty out of hand."

"Bollocks wasn't above having a nip or two, and when he did, he was liable to go off for on a walk about," the writer said, " he usually flew back to the bar after he let off some steam and screwed a flamingo or three, and was good to stay home for awhile."

Though the case has yet to be heard by the Judge, it appears ownership has been established beyond doubt. When the writer went to visit the Parrot in question the bird flew off his perch and went directly to his shoulder squawking loudly, " Bollocks loves Morse...AWWK....Scooby Doo, Scooby Doo...AWWK....let's blow this Pop Stand and get back to the Bar....stick a feather up your arse and call me Smergus....AWWK."

Bird Watchers are pretty convinced Bollocks will soon be back home, and due to unprecedented interest Morse said he had to add 2 stools to the bar, hire a Chef, a female blues singer, a hush puppy Baker, and the inevitable Irish Bar Keep to be ready for the Home Coming Reunion.

Reports out of Hollywood say a preening Tom Cruise is interested in playing Bollocks in the upcoming autobiography to appear on the Disney Channel.

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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