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Topics: Abraham Lincoln

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

image for Abraham Lincoln Spotted in Convenience Store
Maurice Sugarbloom on his interview

At 4:54 PM, Abraham Lincoln walked into Roger's Convenience and bought a Mars bar and a lighter with basketballs on it.

So says Maurice Sugarbloom, part-time cashier of Roger's Convenience.

"He had a beard, a big black hat, and he was tall. It was him, I tell you, it was him," Sugarbloom commented last Monday, the same day he says he saw Lincoln walk into the store.

"He walked up to the counter, wearing a Detroit Pistons jersey, and bought a few small things," Sugarbloom said. "I could hardly believe it was him. I kept staring at him and whispering his name."

Sugarbloom says that the man was around 6 feet, with a goatee, dirty blonde hair, and a tattoo of a passenger pigeon on his left bicep. When asked if he had ever seen a picture of Abraham Lincoln in his life, he stated, "No, but this was him. I could feel it in my bones."

When asked if he knew that Abraham Lincoln had already died almost 150 years ago, he refused to comment further.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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