Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 30 March 2009

image for Donald Trump Kicks Dennis Rodman Off Celebrity Apprentice
One of the four $13,000 imported Norwegian hairdryers that Donald Trump uses on his hair

NEW YORK CITY - The Celebrity Apprentice Guru, Donald Trump has fired one more team player, or in the case of Dennis Rodman, one team non-player.

Ex-NBA star and seven time defensive player of the year Dennis Rodman, 47, was sent packing by the Don's early light.

None of 6 foot 8, Rodman's teammates liked the fact that Dennis could just not seem to keep away from the booze.

Teammate Jesse James, husband of actress Sandra Bullock and a motorcyle builder who has personally built close to one million motorcycles, said that he has never seen a man drink three bottles of Jack Daniels Whiskey in one sitting as Rodman did.

Former Dallas Cowboys running back Herschel Walker, who once scored eight touchdowns in a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers, said that he once witnessed D.R. at an IHOP eat a plate of 10 pancakes and then wash them down with a six-pack of Coors Light.

Rodman who has more piercings and tattoos than Amy Winehouse, Cher, Allen Iverson, and Carmelo Anthony combined says that he only drinks when he is thirsty and that it's not like he spends 24 hours a day drinking.

The ex-husband of Carmen Electra says that he realizes that he has a drinking problem and he remarked that he will deal with it, "Whenever I F'ing feel like F'ing dealing with it and not an F'ing minute sooner."

Brian McKnight, a singer who has won 11 Grammies, four Oscars, an Emmy, and a Shirley commented that if Dennis could not use the F word that his conversation would be reduced by as much as 90 percent.

Rodman said that he learned how to cuss when he was dating Madonna. He even said that she had the words, "Dennis Wears My Bitchin ' Thigh Highs" tattooed on her left underarm.

Comedienne Joan Rivers, who is on the women's team remarked that she likes Dennis but that the African-American punk needs to stop his incessant cussing.

Joan then added, "If the mofo wants to continue to cuss then that is his damn mofoing right, but I just do not want the crazy son-of-a-bitch cussing in my damn presence or in the presence of my darn daughter, Melissa."

In a developing story. An agent for Rodman says that he is currently in negotiations to star in the PBS special, The Miss Oprah Winfrey Story. Rodman will reportedly portray Oprah between the ages of 20 and 22.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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