Republican Congressmen have jumped on the bandwagon in expressing extreme gratitude for the recent comments made by President Obama concerning his poor bowling performance on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
The remark has enabled Republicans to begin a slander campaign with the sole intention of down-grading all disabled persons, traditionally Democratic voters, to legal status of 'less than human' so that they are illegible to vote in forthcoming elections. Republicans state that the vast majorities of ballots are already wasted by disabled voters who tend to mark an 'X' by instead drawing smiley faces in crayon.
"By down-grading their legal status we hope to employ these "disableds" as lawnmowers and chairs for our back patios. There has simply been too many cases of complaint by the 12 year old wetbacks we employ. They complain too much about having to work 70 hour weeks whilst having to work overtime as a television stand. We originally got the idea from Sarah Palin after she told us how her four children would use the youngest child, Trig, as a gun rack."
The chairman of the campaign expressed his wishes that if all is a success they hope to branch out to other sectors of society. "We're hoping to expand our criteria to include Muslims, women, blacks and gays. Ideally, the full strike we're aiming for is for black, gay, Muslim women to be used as security fences for our homes. I can't think of a greater deterrent to potential criminals than a 35 foot high perimeter fence with hundreds of Muslim women super glued to the exterior".
Only hours after Obama's controversial statement the 44th president offered a public apology. "I did not intend to humiliate the disabled population. Please forgive me, I acted like a complete donkey". Almost immediately, the National Donkey Association of America (NDAA) expressed deep regret at president Obama's use of the word 'donkey' to portray a complete retard. "The NDAA executive board is writing a public open letter to the White House challenging the layout of the current administration and its lack of representation of the Donkey minority." The White House retaliated immediately stating that the Treasury Secretary, Timothy F. Geithner, more than makes up for this.
A spokesperson did make several comments, repeatedly, but we were simply unable to understand what he was saying.
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