Written by Roy Turse
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Topics: Tax, AIG, bonus

Friday, 20 March 2009

image for The Government Wants Those Bonuses Back
bonus recipients may feel inclined to return them

The House of Representatives has voted to create a new bonus tax band of 90% which will apply to all bonuses at companies that start with A and end in IG. Additionally, once someone has paid tax at the new rate, they will continue to pay tax at that rate for the rest of their lives. Other conditions will also apply.

The bill was written up quickly once details of this particular bailed out bank's bonuses became public. The government has suggested that the recipients of the bonus should consider returning them rather than facing the punitive tax and other measures. These include loss of all stock options, pension rights and health insurance and confiscation of all property and other assets.

Facial laser branding with the word 'leech' and having your first-born child forcibly taken into care and were rejected from the wording of the bill, as this was not within the remit of tax legislation.

However, New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo was alleged to have taken receipt of a full list of the bonus recipients and threatened to release the names to a baying mob if the bonuses were not returned.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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