Written by Aspartame Boy
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Topics: Barack Obama

Monday, 9 March 2009

image for Obama inaugurates "scientific integrity"
"Science! HA! Just approve it!!"

WASHINGTON DC - President Obama signed an executive order Friday restoring "scientific integrity" to the various federal agencies, White House servants reported Saturday.

Obama acted in response to years of unscientific crap from the Bush administration. For example, 1 trillion plus 1 trillion is 30 trillion. This will not be allowed starting next week.

On hearing the news, FDA "scientists" again hid under their desks, as they did when Obama was first elected.

Actually, the FDA had been using science, but it turns out, the science was economics, not medicine. It turns out you can make more money by keeping people sick and selling them a lot of drugs that keep them sick.

Also, it helps to add toxins, like aspartame, to the food supply that sicken people and make them hungry. Everybody wins. Everybody it turns out, but those that rely on the effectiveness of the American work farce.

As of Monday, everyone will be healthy since all this will be changed. Hardly anyone will call in sick, or be stupid anymore. People will actually be able to read, and think.

Isn't science wonderful? Except economics when practiced by medical doctors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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