Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Rihanna, Chris Brown

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

image for Rihanna Takes Chris Brown Back
The front of the building where Rihanna fell down by herself

CHICAGO - In an amazing turn of events Rihanna has taken Chris Brown back just three short weeks after her boyfriend allegedly presented her with a bloody nose, a swollen lip, and facial bruising.

The 21-year-old singer stated that she still loves him because he is so cute and so cuddly. Relatives are shocked to say the least. And Chris Brown says that it was all just one big giant fabrication on the part of the media.

Brown says that he plans to sue several newspapers for printing photographs that he says had obviously been retouched to show the beautiful singer with horrible bruises, cuts, scrapes, contusions, wounds, lacerations, and abrasions.

Both Rihanna and Chris are now saying that Rihanna tripped and fell because of her 9-inch stiletto heels.

The "Umbrella" singer says that Chris and her spent several days at Sean "Diddy" Combs' Miami Beach mansion.

While at the mansion they had a fabulous time playing video games, Pictionary, Monopoly and making up stories to give to the media about how Chris is really the All-America boy who is misunderstood by every newspaper, television, and radio reporter in America.

The native of the Island of Barbados stated that her and Chris have had several offers to appear in movies together.

Paramount has offered them, "Ouch! - The Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown Story," and Warner Brothers has offered them "Ouch! Ouch! - The Ike and Tina Turner Story."

Meanwhile, there are reports that over 27,000 psychiatrists, therapists, and counselors from throughout America, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Zimbabwe want to talk to Rihanna and find out just exactly what the hell the 21-year-old young lady is thinking.

Chris reportedly told a close friend that he is the luckiest guy in the world and that he cannot believe that Rihanna actually fell hook, line, and sinker for all of his "I'm so, so sorry baby" bullshit.

Reliable sources say that Brown is currently working on a book about the whole fabricated abuse thing. The working title of the book is, "Why Is Everybody Being So Friggin' Mean To Me?"

Meanwhile the Fox Network has plans to develop a sitcom/drama on the entire sordid situation. And they have stated that they have hired Rihanna to be a creative consultant and hope to have her show them how all of the shit that Brown has put her through is funny.

Fox plans to cast Richard Simmons in the part of Chris Brown and Rosie O'Donnell in the part of Rihanna. Ryan Seacrest has been signed to play Nancy O'Dell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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