Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: octuplets

Sunday, 22 February 2009

image for "Octuplet's Mom's" Sperm Donor Comes Out Of Hiding
David Solomon (aka The OctuMom's Sperm Donor)

BELLFLOWER, California - The man responsible for donating the sperm that created eight babies has finally come forward.

David Solomon, (aka The Sperm Donor) told a reporter for CNN that the reason he had not come out before is because he suffers from a shyness affliction known as shycokaliosis.

Solomon admits that he is also the sperm donor that is responsible for the six other children.

When he was asked why he just didn't inpregnate mom in the normal, everyday way, like any red-blooded American male would do, he smiled and said because he is very shy.

Solomon admitted that he has always been afraid of commitment. He added that she is the one to blame because she is the woman, and she is the one with the uterus, the womb, the breasts, and the 16 ovaries.

When asked if he didn't feel any sense of responsibility he replied, "No not really." He did say that he has already bought three boxes of Pampers, a used baby playpen, two baby rattles, and five baby pacifiers.

David Solomon did want to stress that he has always suffered from strong bouts of shyness. He said that sometimes it is so bad that he takes a shower in his boxer shorts.

He was asked what he does for a living and he replied that he works part-time as a Wal-Mart greeter.

In related news. A gynecologist from New Orleans, Dr. Matsuki Nakayama has stated that mom, who is only 33, could concievably end up having anywhere from 90 to 100 more children. He said that he will volunteer to personally sew up her vagina free of charge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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