Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 19 February 2009

image for Ellen, Rosie, and Melissa To Lend The U.S. $20 Million
Ellen DeGeneres signing the check for $20 million that they are loaning 'interest free' to the U.S.

MALIBU BEACH, California - Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, and Melissa Etheridge have decided to lend the financially strapped United States $20 million.

Herb Hankowitz, attorney for Tri Guys Unlimited, the company solely owned by the happy trio has draw up the necessary paperwork.

Hankowitz has FedExed the contract to the office of Secretary of the Treasury Oprah Winfrey.

A spokesperson for Tri Guys Unlimited said that Ellen, Rosie, and Melissa decided to make this 'interest free' loan recently while they were playing Pictionary at the palatial home of talk show host DeGeneres.

Rosie (O'Donnell) stated that she was saddened that the big three auto makers, Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler were suffering from the nation's economic woes.

So she and her two business partners decided that they would provide a much needed loan for a very good cause.

Ms. Etheridge added that the only stipulation would be that the money had to be used to help the American people and not be used to study the reproductive habits of the Icelandic fififufu bug or the sleeping habits of the North Atlantic darting sardines.

DeGeneres was asked why they had not made the loan offer when George Bush was in office and she replied, "Because the drugstore cowboy kept referring to the three of us as that trio of Lebanese gals."

In related news. Paramount Pictures has just finished deliberations and signed the happy trio to star in a movie about George W. Bush. The film is titled, "The Georgy Bush Presidency - The Lies, The Whys, and The Sighs."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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