Dilly and Dally DeWeese, Bullet County's only pair of Siamese twins, who won the 100 meters final at the Regional Paralympics in Bridgeport this past weekend by a head, are demanding two medals, one each, however organizers say they have to share.
"To be honest, we have never encountered this before" said official Maynerd G. Crabtree.
"Yes they have two heads - but only one pair of legs - the legs did the work - so one medal for one pair of legs."
"Personally I think they are better off not complaining - they only won because one of the heads dipped over the line before the second place guy - in reality the second head came in third so the guy with the one head came in second by a head- do you follow me? I'm not even sure that I do."
The twins though are furious, or at least, Dilly or Dally one, is.
However, Dally DeWeese (I think) then stated "Its not fair, we have 2 necks protruding from one torso and the medals are on a gold chain -it should be a medal per neck/head - not per legs."
"Would that mean a one legged athlete in an ass-kicking contest would only get half a medal? Of course not" said Dally DeWeese (again, I think it was Dally.)
Both Dilly and Dally said they were calling Obama as soon as they got home.
(The Bullet County Hard Times)