Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 22 January 2009

image for Rush Limbaugh: "I Hope Obama Fails"
Rush Limbaugh outside his home waiting for the morning newspaper

CLEVELAND, Ohio - Conservative talk show host, political commentator, and basic GOP crybaby Rush Limbaugh told Fox TV host Sean Hannity that he hopes the new president fails.

Limbaugh who is 58, is visibly upset with himself because he has allowed his weight to balloon up in the neighborhood of 400 pounds.

And 'The Grand Master of Meanness' has once against clearly demonstrated his unique knack for 'Pata en la boca chingos,' which is Latin for 'sticking your foot in your mouth.'

The GOP mouthpiece, referred to by many as 'The Rushing Sewer' has time after time made caustic, unthought out, venemous remarks aimed at those who embrace the Left.

Mr. L is so obsessed with being 'Anti-Left' that he even refuses to utter such words as leftfield, leftovers, left-handed, and Lefty Grove.

To say that Limbaugh is not well liked is clearly an understatement. Roughly 97% of The Pittsburgh Steelers think that he is a right wing fanatic.

100% of The Harlem Globetrotters say that Rush's order of chicken wings is definitely missing all the meat. And even little Malia Obama told her Mother, "Mommy, Mr. Limburger (sic) is scary. Is he 'The Bogeyman?'"

And his own hometown of Cape Girardeau, Missouri has erected signs at both entrances to the town that read:

Welcome To Cape Girardeau, Home of The Bill Emerson Memorial Bridge, Two Burger Kings, and That Damn Venom-Spewing, Tub of Mrs. Tucker's Lard Rush What's His Name.

The Cape Girardeau Weekly Gazing Gazette has set up an account at The Cape G Third City Bank that will be used to purchase Mr. Limbaugh a one-way ticket to Siberia.

In related news. Katie Couric of CBS News has pointed out that all of Limbaugh's three ex-wives have names that begin with the letter M; Maxine, Michelle, and Marta. Couric added that Mr. GOPounds is currently dating a woman named Mimosa Monaquisha Monroe (Hmmmmm).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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