Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Prison, Boy George

Thursday, 22 January 2009

image for Boy George: "Hey Guys, Wanna See My CD?"
Boy George standing in the lunch line at The Petula Clark Prison For Blokes

LONDON, England - England's newest convict is none other than George Alan O'Dowd, aka Boy George, ex-member of The Culture Club.

Boy George who is 47, has been sentenced to 15 months in Prison. He is currently incarcerated in London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes where he is known as prisoner #74316869.

On his third day behind bars Warden Sebastapol Pickens convinced him to treat the other 3,219 jailed lads to a one-man Culture Club concert.

Boy started off his concert with his 1982 hit, 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me,' and when he got to the chorus, 3,219 voices collectively shouted out as one, "Yes we do!"

His next song was his 1983 hit, 'I'll Tumble 4 Ya.' And apparently in prison the word 'Tumble' has roughly about 2,000 different conotations.

The warden has admitted that prison morale has greatly improved since its latest addition moved in. Currently, Boy George's cellmate is #74316002 who is serving 91 years for holding up a bank, holding up an armored car, holding up an English Muffin eatery, and holding up a gay goat.

Warden Pickens told a reporter for The London Morning Mincer Review that Boy George is the most popular prisoner that he has seen in his 17 year career at Pet Clark.

Assistant Warden Ringo Nagashima added that Boy George is even more popular that Horace 'BJ Betty' Mackavecki, who upon his release made millions staring as Paprika Mayfair in 'The Inspector Clitseau & The Polish Pole Dancer' series of movies

The prison clerk who is in charge of cellmate placing said that at present the list requesting Boy George as a cellmate has just reached 3,100.

When Boy George was asked if he wanted to make any comment on his prison stay at Petula C. he replied, "I do have to say that I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I've made over 3,000 new friends. The bad news is that I can not decide which one to marry."

In other news. The zoo manager at The Mrs. Winston Churchill Petting Zoo in Maidstone reports that ever since they added a kangaroo to the petting zoo, littering literally has completely stopped overnight.

Zoo officials were quite puzzled until they noticed that the kangaroo's pocket was sagging so far down that it was actually scraping the ground.

They investigated and found empty soda cans, empty potato chip bags, used Kleenex, cigarette butts, and a half-eaten Big Mac.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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