In a move that critics think might be taking the Lincoln role model a bit too far, Barack Obama has officially changed his name to Abie Baby. The decision seems to have been prefigured by significant evidence:
Hanging around the Lincoln Memorial at really weird hours of the night, quoting Lincoln's little known declaration of himself as a white supremacist during a southern campaign speech, begging his wife to develop a serious mental illness and let him call her Mary Todd have all been interpreted at possible predictors of the odd name change.
The President Elect gave a news conference on the Civil war battlefield at gettysburg to comment on the change. Dressed in a baggy black suit, six inch lifts in his shoes, a stovepipe hat and a three day beard, he told reporters that the interview could only take fpur score and seven minutes since he had tickets to an evening performance at Ford's theater.
Follow us on Twitter