Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Basketball

Thursday, 15 January 2009

image for Los Angeles Clippers Lose Number 12 In A Row
Three Stooges Arena where the Clippers lost to the Hawks 97-80. Paid attendance was 27.

LOS ANGELES, California - The NBA Los Angeles Clippers are playing more like the Los Alamitos Rowboats. They fell to the Atlanta Hawks 97-80, for loss number 12 in a row.

Coach Mike Dunleavy said some reporter from Nevada asked him if he was superstitious about losing number 13 in a row. And Dunleavy told him, "Yeah I'm superstitious that we might win."

Dunleavy does not make any excuses but he does have five of his players, including three startes off hurt. When asked if he has any ideas as to how he can stop his team's losses, Dunleavy replied, "I do have an idea. But canceling the rest of the season would probably offend a lot of our season ticket holders not to mention the team owners."

The three starters that are off hurt are center Chris Kaman who has a despondent funny bone. Guard Baron Davis who has a brusied left tonsil. And forward Zack Randolph who has a dislocated right ear lobe.

The other two Clippers on the injured list are Jason Hart with a sprained tongue and Mike Taylor with a sore left nipple.

Dunleavy said that he called up retired San Antonio Spurs center David Robinson about signing to play for the rest of the season. Dunleavy remarked that David almost choked on a bacon, egg, cheese, and potato breakfast taco that he was eating at the time.

But he quickly recovered and he told the coach that he was certainly flattered but that he had not even dribbled a basketball in two years. And Robinson added "And I double dribbed at that."

Coach Dunleavy next called up Dennis Rodman's agent, but he was told that Dennis would play, but only if they allowed him to play in high heels.

Coach Mike said that he just has to look at it on the bright side. And what is the bright side? Dunleavy smiled, took a bite out of his hot dog and said, "The bright side is the season will be over in just 44 more games."

In related news. Seven-year-old Clippers fan, Cody Zackenbrewster reportedly traded his entire 2008-2009 Los Angeles Clippers basketball card collection for one Washington Wizard's Oleksiy Pecherov card.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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