Written by Rocky Jones
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Topics: Food, Grass

Saturday, 10 January 2009

image for People Eating Grass
Grazing in the grass is a gas

In order to supplement their diets during these lean times, many U.S. citizens are resorting to eating grass.

"Grass is awesome," Barry Bovine of Seattle, Washington recently remarked. "You just have to make sure you don't put a lot of chemicals and fertilizers on your lawn. That's better for the Salmon, anyway. We've decided to no longer smoke grass, but rather, to eat it."

"Think about it," Bovine continued. "Greens are good for you and grass is abundant here in this rain-soaked area. Dandelions aren't bad either. I don't even pick it and bring it in the house anymore. Me and the missus, well, we just go out and start grazing when the urge hits us. And, think about THIS... you get a healthy meal and you save time mowing the lawn. You DO have to keep the dogs and cats out of your yard, though. We've had a few bad experiences with 'animal residue', if you know what I mean. You have to let your nose lead you. You have to watch out for the occasional ant as well, but if you happen to get one, well, it's just more protein."

Bovine and his wife, Daisy, have become conisseurs of different types of grasses.

"We have all different types of grass planted in our lawn," Bovine mentioned. "If you get tired of munching on Kentucky Bluegrass, you can just move over and try a little Ryegrass. Fescue makes a nice appetizer."

As grocery prices continue to climb, more people like the Bovines are looking for ways to augment their diets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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