1000 Islands, New York-Caroline Kennedy seeking the nod to succeed Hillary Rodham Clinton addressed a gathering of the Elk's club in Western New York State. In a speech, she said, " while it won't be easy to fill Hillary's size 14 pantsuit, these hard economic times require a 'lean is mean' approach and I think my small booty is an asset."
"I understand the economic hardships this part of the State is going through, with the unfair trade practices of Italian, French and Blue Cheese, and I will fight to insure that 1000 Island Dressing is number one again."
"There are some who question whether I'm qualified, I can assure you that even though I'm for same sex marriage, I am not a womanizer and secondly, I can drive an American made car safely over any wooden bridge in our great country"
Kennedy's next stop was the Avalon Mall to address the workers at Best Buy.
Meanwhile, the visually impaired Governor of New York, David Patterson said he was "...keeping an eye on all potential candidates," adding, "I will not be blind sided by fame nor shorted sighted by inexperience." " With all eyes on Governor Blagojevich of Illinois, we in the State of New York must do the right thing and though I need a new 72" plasma TV, on sale at Best Buy, I will be deliberate in my choice as to who will replace Hillary Rodham Clinton in the US Senate."