Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: George W. Bush

Monday, 15 December 2008

image for Bush Shoe Tosser Signed By The Seattle Mariners
The Motel 6 room that the Seattle Mariners have rented for Muntazer al-Zaidi

SEATTLE, Washington - The Seattle Mariners who in 2008, had the worst record in the American League (61-101) have just signed Muntazer al-Zaidi to a three year, $3 million pitching contract.

Al-Zaidi is the Iraqi journalist who threw two shoes at President George W. Bush during a news conference in Baghdad. A reporter for the Baghdad Bulletin Banner, Hakeem Hahanooki said, "Both of the shoes whizzed over my head doing every bit of 98 mph.

And both were perfect strikes...of course Mr. Bush ducked, but the size 10's were right over the plate, or actually podium. I tell you what, Mr. Nolan Ryan would have been so proud."

Seattle Mariners director of scouting, Delvin Muncie immediately flew to Baghdad and met with al-Zaidi in his jail cell. Muncie agreed to pay al-Zaidi's $200 bail plus he also made a $75 donation to the Baghdad Policeman's Ball Association.

Muncie and Muntazer al-Zaidi quickly boarded a plane and flew to Seattle. Al-Zaidi will temporarily be staying at an undisclosed Motel Six, until he can move into an apartment.

Al-Zaidi told Muncie, "You know it is so amazing...that only in America can one accidentally throw his shoes at the president and then later that same day be signed to a multi-million dollar pitching contract. I love America, I love hot dogs, I love apple pie, and I love your mama."

Muntazer added, "Heck, if I had known that it would be so easy, I would have thrown my camel riding boots at Condoleezza Rice when she visited Iraq back in March."

Al-Zaidi is scheduled to work out with Seattle Mariner's pitching coach Gumersindo Orestes who will teach him how to throw a curveball, a sinkerball, a split-fingered fastball, and a spitball. Al-Zaidi requested and will be given Ken Griffey, Jr.'s old uniform number 24.

In other news, David Letterman reportedly told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that Jay Leno's head is so big that if he put on a Mexican sombrero it would probably look like a beanie.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

7 18 23 3

Go to top