Written by cwthomson
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Sunday, 14 December 2008

image for "Pants Suits" in Fashion
Levi Tripp says by not paying for his injuries, B Street Clothing has violated his Constitutional rights.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Levi Tripp walks with a limp, but that is due to a previous affectation. Now he's suing the pants off B. Street Clothing to the tune of 1.3 million dollars. Tripp was crossing the street with two armloads of groceries when the B. Street pants he was wearing nearly sixteen inches below his waist worked their way down past his knees, relieving him of his balance and his groceries.

Though he required stitches, Levi's all patched up now. However, he claims he endured the "public embarrassment" of lying in the middle of traffic with his pants down, the reason for his suit.

Noey Diddent, attorney for B Street Clothing, argues that it's "solely Tripp's responsibility" to "know the risks of wearing your pants half down." Furthermore, he insists "they are clearly marketed to be worn down, preferably with a belt and wrinkly boxers," and that "the alleged charges of embarrassment are therefore without merit."

As expected, plunging beltlines have meant a corresponding rise in the number of suits versus pants and jeans. Nevertheless, the courts seem to have been caught with theirs down, finding their case load projections on pants coming up short, unable to fashion models accounting for the trend toward more pants suits.

As attorneys have the courts hemmed in with litigation, legal experts foresee that pants worn this way could very well come with warning labels in the near future. Still others predict a "one-hand-free" ruling, making it a misdemeanor to wear such troublesome trousers without at least one hand available to pull them up by the crotch.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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