Written by Andrew J. Horne
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Friday, 11 June 2004

image for Michael Moore Decides to "Literally" Breast Feed Hollywood Liberals Too
"I had already done it metaphorically so what the hell" - Moore

LOS ANGELES - After the star-studded Hollywood premiere of his new film Fahrenheit 9/11, creator Michael Moore felt he had to finish the evening off by inviting the entire audience back to his home to give them even more of exactly what they want.

In liberal Hollywood, so many stars came out for the first L.A. celebrity-group breast feeding that two seperate lines were needed - one for each of his nipples.

Among those waiting in line: Martin Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen DeGeneres, David Duchovny, Sharon Stone, Meg Ryan, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Norman Lear, Rob Reiner, Jodie Foster, Chris Rock, Larry David, Jack Black, Matthew Perry, Diane Lane, Marisa Tomei and Viggo Mortensen.

"I never come to premieres, but I'm so here on this one," Drew Barrymore said. "I'm looking forward to this more than anything in the world. I'm so hungry."

"A lot of us look to Michael Moore to uncover the real truth," said Camryn Manheim, who says she has received death threats for voicing her political views about embracing communism and legalizing late-term abortions.

Watching the reactions of the famous viewers during the late dinner was almost as entertaining as viewing the feeding itself.

DiCaprio laughed when the tite slipped from the mouth of Drew Barrymore, spraying milk everywhere, while the same incident drew gasps from Stone and Tomei.

Moore's request that everyone leave due to the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio had sucked him dry inspired an "Oh my God" from Garry Shandling.

Actress and young voter Leelee Sobieski, who turns 22 today, was brought to tears by the news. She suggested it "should be required for everyone in America to see this as part of their education in high schools."

Moore said the celeb turnout left him "stunned," "honored, and "drained." Aiming to influence the presidential election, he vowed to keep his breasts available through November.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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