With the US suffering its highest unemployment rates in decades two prominent government departments claim that they have had to hire foreign workers to fill essential spots.
Gates of the Pentagon says that he couldn't find US doctors, nurses and translators and so he will be hiring legal foreign residents and students with visas.Gates announced his pilot program for recruiting recent arrivals on temporary visas. After an advisor whispered something in Gates' ear , he clarified that pilot was just an expression.
Over at Homeland Security, Boston area chief Lorraine Henderson concurred with Gates:
"I have had such a hard time finding good help around the house among US citizens that I too have had to do my hiring among our loyal collection of foreign experts in cooking, cleaning, gardening and swimming pool care."
Henderson aoppeared at a press conference wearing odd looking heavy metal bracelets and introduced the press to her butler, a seven foot hairy behemoth called Harry of unknown origins.