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Topics: Candy

Thursday, 4 December 2008

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A California man used a candy cane lawn ornament last week to fend off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home.

Police spokesman Sgt. Bill Heong said the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn to sing turkey carols.

He cut several peoples' clothing before one of them decided to fight back.

"Apparently the cane is mightier than the sword", stated one officer.

"Good thing they had taken up the pink flamingos for the winter", stated another.

"It's been like this ever since I got back to the office", sighed Sgt. Heong, over another officer's "We cane help it, Sarge".

"I hear a movie outfit has called "Citzen Cane" concerning making a movie about the episode using music from the late Roy Orbison's "Candy Man."

"I'm leaving for the day", stated Hoeng.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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