Written by Andrew J. Horne
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Thursday, 10 June 2004

image for TIVO captures Ted Kennedy Costume Malfunction
Is it cold in here? Split seconds before the cover up!

Washington, D.C. - Senator Ted Kennedy apologized Monday to anyone who was offended when his pierced left breast was exposed during an interview in the capital building.

"The decision to have a costume reveal at the end of the interview was made after final rehearsals," Kennedy said in a statement.

"Fox News was completely unaware of it. It was not my intention that it go as far as it did. I apologize to anyone offended -- including the audience, Fox, and especially my family, who have not been this embarrassed since I drove that intern into the river and forgot to call the police until the next morning."

On Monday, Federal Communications Commission Chairman Michael Powell ordered an investigation of the horrible incident.

"I knew immediately it would cause great outrage among the American people, which it did," he said, citing "thousands" of complaints received by Monday morning, while disregarding the four letters of praise. "We have a very angry public on our hands in spite of the fact that it was just a damn tit."

An estimated 5 million people were watching the show when at the end, Senator Tom Daschle popped off part of Kennedy's suit jacket, exposing his wrinkled man boob. Seconds later, almost a million TIVOs simultaneously rewound in order to replay the incident.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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