Written by Mahavishnu BBZ
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Wednesday, 19 November 2008

image for 'Zero Times Table Scrapped'
High Society

Never again will we hear the dulcet tones of 5 year-olds reciting 'one times zero is zero, two times zero is zero' etc. Education chiefs have erased the Zero Times Table recitation from the school curriculum, but deny its another streamlining tactic.

"We just felt it was outdated, outmoded, and outlandish, we know loads more similar words that start with out, but we didn't think they were appropriate - ahem, but the time saved will be spent on teaching the children to be able to recite their parents current medication and narcotic intake."

"'A curious replacement', you may croak, confusedly through the bong-smoke, but it has been observed that there are growing numbers of cases of overdosing and accidents, when doctors require this information urgently, and who doesn't love a Kid-saves-Crack-Whore-mum news story every now and then?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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