Written by Morse
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Saturday, 15 November 2008

image for Video Tape Confirms James R. Hoffa and Whitey Bolger Live! Pair Join Forces Lobby Auto Bailout!
Video Warning from Hoffa & Bolger Surfaces: Fix This Economic Mess or Else!

Boston, Ma/Detroit,Mi, / Combined AP Wire Services - A video tape delivered covertly to the Boston Globe proves conclusively that missing union boss Jimmy Hoffa, and Winter Hill Gangster Whitey Bolger are still on the loose and not about to let the government forget about them!

Hoffa was presumed to be dead, a victim of a mob hit, when he disappeared from a Michigan parking lot July 30, 1975. Bolger has been on the lam since Dec. 23,1944 when FBI buddies alerted him to an imminent arrest warrant.

With Hoffa's disappearance, eventually the leadership of the powerful Teamsters Union passed to his son, also named James. With Whitey on the run, a long line of successors continued to run the Winter Hill Gang, and one by one , they too have been arrested. But as one Boston cop pointed out, the city has a long way to go before they run out of Irish hoods to take his place.

Bolger's brother has had a distinguished career as President of the State Senate, and later as President of the University of Mass. where he recently retired with a golden parachute, almost as lucrative as many Boston Firemen on extended disability leave with full tax free entitlements. But that's another Boston Scandal for another Spoof Report.

Reporters from the Globe, who have seen the video, said that Hoffa, now 95, looked fit and trim, belying his years. Bolger, ever the work out fanatic still appeared to be 20 years younger then his 78 years.

Both infamous crime icons passed on cryptic threats to Congress, warning of dire consequences if Reid, Pelosi,Frank, Dodd and Paulson reneged on the deal to bail out the Big 3 auto unions.

Hoffa was shown opening a can of Star Kist Tuna with a battery operated reciprocating saw with a 10" metal cutting blade. This was a not so subtle message to Nancy Pelosi after the sweet heart deal she arranged recently with her financial backer, Del Monte Foods, who spun off Star Kist to a Korean Company after receiving Bail Out guarantees AND no hike to minimum wage standards. Message: I'm going to tear the lid off your scam!

Bolger, staring straight into the camera in menacing fashion, even more scary than Jack Nicholson in "The Departed", a loose interpretation of his life story, methodically wrapped a steaming wad of corned beef and cabbage in the obituary page of a recent Boston Globe. Subtle, these guys are not.

Meanwhile, Congress stews over the bailout package assured to continue the bleeding at the Big 3, which some financial experts have likened to supporting retirement homes thanks to outrageous union pension and health benefits, while the rest of Blue Collar Americans continue to lose their jobs, homes, and savings with no bail outs for them forth coming.

Insiders are floating a scenario where President Elect Obama, on the advice of his adopted Clinton Cabinet, issues Pardons to the Devilish Duo, and turns them loose on fixing current union Demands, and punishing greedy Bankers and Politicians, the Old Fashioned Way!

Chief of Staff, Israeli-American Rahm Emanuel was heard to exclaim"F******A, this will serve them C************s right!"

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 1?

3 10 4 15

Go to top