Bush Calls Up Boy Scouts for Tour of Duty

Late today, President George Bush and Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld announced at a brief press conference that up to 150,000 Boy Scouts from across America would be called into active duty in Iraq effective immediately.
"Our mission for a democratic and free Iraq must not waver" Bush said, "To stay the course we must make a long term commitment. Now these honorable young men will do their best for God and their country by laying down their lives so that we can keep oil prices low."
Questioned about the rapid deployment with which he intends to send the boy-troops to Iraq, Bush responded: "Thanks to the fine work of the NRA, even small boys now have access to powerful guns. Therefore, training will not be necessary. Many of these scouts already have several merit badges qualifying them for officer status in the Texas National Guard, where I myself, served and was proved to have visited the dentist.
In what sounded like a political stump speech, Bush went on further to add that the move would help our economy and show his moral leadership, two causes to which he is also firmly committed. "These scouts are dependent citizens. Pulling them out of their homes saves the working family money. Our economy will grow and prosper". "Also, Fathers and sons together on the battlefield supports the American family which I believe should stay together. This will reduce the chance they will move to San Francisco and become homosexuals.
When questioned about the wisdom of putting thousands of 12-14 year old boys in harms way, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld interjected, "I'll take full responsibility for that". Bush chimed in with "Yeah, what he said".